dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
