i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
