It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the day after is always just damage control
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
