I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
