I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
