Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
