Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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