Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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