I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
this just has baby written all over it
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
