You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
