Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Randomize
