a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's never too late to be topless.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
