i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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