Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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