What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Never underestimate the power of titties
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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