She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
and she was petting her beer can
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
