Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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