I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
