i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
