The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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