Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
