Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
