I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize