The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
