I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
