So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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