I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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