were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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