he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
