Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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