i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you didnt know i had herpes?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize