how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dignity is for republicans.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
