just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
