No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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