i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
