I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
