i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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