best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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