why didn't you poke me back
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize