I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
