Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
