i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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