She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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