i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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