I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
