Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
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Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I still have a little drunk in my system
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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