In America we eat man semen.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
