Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
