She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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