how do flat chested girls get laid?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
