today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're breaking my sexual little heart
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
