my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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