I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
