I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
