we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
