There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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