the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize