My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
