if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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