She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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