how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
